Sonnet II
None can harm me because my heart is stone
for me there is no pain, I feel no hurt
although I hold back these tears never shown
If struck in defense I will not assert
They strike at me and try to bring me down
Are there none who will choose to show me love?
I know I am not great and wear no crown
In grief I shout to the heavens above
I dare not let them get too close to me
They mocked my life but all I did was sigh
I'm trapped in a prison and am not free
There's no solace I cannot even cry
I looked for love, I never should have tried
They care most for you after you have died

Love Sonnet XIII
I'd give my life for another's embrace
there is no sadness like that which I feel
They do not see the thoughts beyond my face
The mental scars that mat not ever heal
The ache could go away if I felt loved
I wish I could tell you how sad I am
but none dare touch me with a hand ungloved
My love is like water behind a dam
What you don't know can still tear at my soul
My silence makes my life look dark and bleak
There's no love like mine found in book or scroll
I'd lose so much if I would dare to speak
Thoughts of you could see me through countless wars
And though you are not mine my heart's still yours

I'm in a crappy mood. I'm in one of those moods that if I could directly transfer my feelings into anyone else's mind they would break down in tears. I wish it were as simple as that. I'm always feeling left out. Does anyone have any idea how much pain I'm in? I doubt it. All I want is to know that I'm cared about. I can't feel that all the time. The old expression "home is where the heart is" is kind of true. I'm not happy at my house. I have no one to talk to unless I use the phone or computer. I'm not happy. I have no true home. I rarely get that sense of belonging anymore. People have told me that maybe the good things that happen to me happen to me for a reason. I doubt it. If there were a reason for the good things, then why all the bad things. I'm consumed by extreme apathy. I don't feel like doing anything; not doing the dishes, not watching the T.V., hell, if it weren't for the fact that I know things will always get better I wouldn't even feel like living. Not being able to really talk about it just makes it worse. I'm stuck in my own mind. I want to escape, but there's no way for me to escape.