Love Sonnet IX
You, love of my life, ha! Love of my death
I see you in my fate and in my doom
I dream of you as I yet draw my breath
I’ll think of you tile when I reach my tomb
I cry if we shall ever drift apart
Alone am I, my dreams they are forlorn
For you, arrow of loss pierce my heart
Fate laughs at me with bitterness and scorn
Sadness, me mind is drowned in thoughts of grief
Under a jar of glass my heart display’d
Swallowed am I by thoughts of disbelief
The edges of my mind so grim and frayed
Just me, if one plus one can not be two
Then it will never be just me and you
This one is alot sadder than my other ones, maybe due to my mentality shift. What I am afraid of is since my problem on Friday I'll never be the same with myself. I keep questioning things around me, even when being comforted. It's like no matter what I, or anyone else for that matter, does I can't be truely happy. Now that I've already crossed the lines, I have to ask a couple questions: (My answers for any of you guys in red)
1. How would you react if I died? I might just kill myself.
2. How much better do you think the world would be having had me be alive? You've helped me get by by being my friend, so just by helping me you've made the world a little happier.
3. Would you go to my funeral? I would go to anyone's funeral who I think would go to, or at least want to go to mine. All of you, I hope.
4. (weird one) If you would, how many people would you be willing to take a bullet for? Who? (no pressure) I can definitely say there are six or seven people I would take a bullet for. Many more I'd like to think I would, but I'm not sure. (Scott, Sarah, Sarah, Amy, Josh, Snyder [after that letter I owe it to you], and Sara) You guys make me look forward to everyday I'm alive and I can honestly say without you I wouldn't be here.
I'm sorry if my asking these scares you, but I've already had the thoughts so this should not come as too much of a surprise. I don't think I'll hurt myself, but I'm still scared of how much sadder I've become. I'm frightened that I'm becoming slightly sadder everyday. I don't want to die, but sadly I wish I were in a coma for about a month. I need a way to escape. Please, I'm afraid of my feelings. Lately they've done nothing but hurt me. I just want the hurting to go away somehow.
posted by Dave @ 4:09 PM
3 Comments:
Guess I'm a mabye for the whole bullet thing. All this is really shocking. You've always seemed so cheerful, and really practical too. Guess I didn't really know you quite as well as I thought. Well all the time I think things change my life forever. But then it goes on just the same. With any luck this will be just like that.
I'm not sure if we were suposed to fill out the questionare ourselves but I'll do it anyway
1. How would you react if I died? Its hard to say. I'd be stunned. The world lost a great mind before it even had a chance to benifit from it
2. How much better do you think the world would be having had me be alive? You could do great things for this world as long as you have the strength to belive it can be helped
3. Would you go to my funeral? Even If I had to walk there barefoot over broken glass
4. (weird one) If you would, how many people would you be willing to take a bullet for? Who? (no pressure) This is a tough one. A bullet could mean a lot, and the implications are complex. First of all would this bullet be deadly, would it be simply and injury. Should we assume that we wont know. An obvious answer would be my parents but they say no parent ever wants to outlive their child. Would it be selfish to die so they'll have to go through the anguish of losing me instead of me. This is a tough one I really can't answer it.
...Love Sonnet MCMXXCIX
Lookie, a cookie
It makes my heart well up with pride
Then I eat it
and it dies.
Happy birthday, son!
hmm sounds like working at Innotech. God office space rocks. Yes coma, try naps instead, when your asleep there's no disapointment. I learned that from an old episode of BSG.
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