Love Sonnet XVI
Not ever would I look straight at the sun
But still, I’d dare to gaze upon your face
On a bright summer’s through fields I run
When I see you my heart exceeds that pace
Your face always shines with a vibrant hue
Both your mind and your person are so bright
When compared to you my talents are few
My love, you radiate a brilliant light
I bask in the glow of your shining rays
And from you a deluge of sunshine shoots
The dark of my life your radiance slays
You are heralded by a thousand flutes
So as I watch the rain of your praise fall
It falls on us and you enlighten all
Love Sonnet XVII
I shall love you, and after I expire
I shall watch you from heaven in the sky
Not even death can quench my loving fire
The bonds of life to me do not apply
My love transcends the limits of my life
I may not be able to hold your hand
You’re as close to me as a man and wife
My love cannot be stopped by things unplanned
No one can intervene, not even fate
My love is stronger than the hand of death
I hope that when you think of me as late
That you shall weep and mourn my loss of breath
I will wait for you til’ the day you’ve died
I’ll be without you on the other side
posted by Dave @ 7:27 PM
4 Comments:
You need to be less strait forward. You have metaphors here but they're all revealed. Don't say stuff like
Your presence is like the light of the sun
Say
I'm in the presence of a second sun
Not literally but you get the idea.
Shakespear hides the true meaning of his sonnets. Thats what makes them good.
not to go completely off-topic, but...
yeah, aim just completely crapped out tonight, so in case i can't get back on, that would be the troubles i was having staying online.
17 sonnets about this person. Thats not healthy. Write about something else. Just because a lot of love poems are sonnets doesn't mean all sonnets have to be love poems. Shakespear wrote about time a lot.
I know they don't have to be, sonnets just come more easily when they're about this particular person. And it's not only sonnets. I write other poems about her too. Yeah, maybe it's not healthy, but oh well. I've written 8 non-love sonnets before. You saw two of them, the other two stink. I'll keep writing them as long as I enjoy it.
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