Friday, June 17, 2005

Ask me anything, except you josh. You I don't trust.

Ask me 4 questions.
Any 4 no matter how personal, private or random.
I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.
In turn you post this message in your own journal and
you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Love Sonnet XXIV
My love, I am the earth and you the sky
and all that do live know to tread on me
but are unworthy for through you to fly
Save all the birds whose, like yours, spirits are free
I am there when they bow their heads in shame
When up they look it is you that they see
Beyond us all, on you none can lay claim
the sun from you, it hath so brightly shone
too great to be with held in any frame
alas, I have no light to call my own
like your bright stars, such marvels to the eye
so far from you, I'm feeling so alone
I can't reach you, although in vain I try
my love, I am the earth and you the sky

Love Sonnet XXV
What will be said of me after I'm dead
will there be words of sadness and of grief
for me how many tears shall my friends shed
or will they look on my leave with relief
my love, tell me, will you be one to weep
if of me you knew you would see no more
my soul swallowed in silent dreamless sleep
ferried cross to Styx's opposite shore
So much to say, so much that's left untold
such a foreign pain that does leave me weak
to tell these words before I die'd be bold
whilst there is time I hope these words I speak
their message great although their number few
no more endearing words than "I love you"

Love Sonnet XXVI
What does it mean to truly be in love?
I feel it, but cannot phrase it
a gift to those below from up above?
valued, though none live who can appraise it
how many shapes can our misstress love take?
there's romance, though that does not always last
and lust, whose shallow friendship can be fake
and companionship, whose support holds fast
these are just words, put by pen on paper
you cannot learn it, when love strikes you'll know
as easy to speak as to catch vapor
for all when it is time true love will show
it seems love's nature cannot be surmised
when such love finds you you may be surprised

Love Sonnet XXVII
feeling's a curse today and tomorrow
emotion's a fuse of pain ignited
sadder still than those of grief and sorrow
is the feeling of love unrequited
I'd console those who have wept for their loss
I but I do weep for what I never had
now such tears have left me bitter and cross
but 'neath my shell my cold heart still is sad
It still feels that which cannot be uttered
I know it's true, I can't speak how I feel
I've slipped before, though to her not muttered
a single word however my love real
maybe one day I'll speak, but who can say?
or my love my emotions will betray

Love Sonnet XXVIII
Such beauty and grace permeate your ways
with such dignity as upirs I'm not blesst
thou art worthy of their eternal praise
the sun sets on me as it does the west
sadness is like my shadow in my life
no shadow have you, but a wake of light
it seems to me ill-fortune's my grim wife
a soul like yours, without sorrow or plight
It seems life's path is a throw of the dice
It seems to me my lot in life's not fair
though I've been not tempted by sin nor vice
you're one of the blessings of mine so rare
and if such gifts god can bestow on thee
why hast god not given such gifts to me?

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I need to run away...
help...
what's left for me?
am I a masochist?
why do I keep doing this to myself?
why can't i just get away from this loveless life?
Why don't I just kill myself?
Easy, because I know that would hurt others so much more than I'm hurting right now. That would be mathematically impractical, and I'm not one for mathematical impracticalities. Also, I always have tomorrow to look forward to with the hope that tomorrow can be a brighter day. I still want to run...

Friday, June 03, 2005

Love Sonnet XXIII
My heart is sick with a deadly disease
it suffers from lonesome, all by itself
trapped in shadows, I can't do what I please
like some lost book on a library shelf
my own dissolved in a stream of fiction
my heart weakens with my soul locked away
and loneliness is my grave affliction
your face can sustain me another day
I see it in you eyes, so bright and pure
that one spark of hope that can help me live
I know above all else you hold my cure
it removes this bleak toxin like a seive
it pains me to hide my feelings with stealth
and so I'd say thoust doth give me health